


Revenge of the Librarian

by DreamerInSilico



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Rogue One Spoilers, Villainous origin story!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:43:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8970109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerInSilico/pseuds/DreamerInSilico
Summary: How a trigger-happy Grand Moff's poor life decisions had interesting consequences some thirty years later.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ryfkah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryfkah/gifts).



> Inspired by a very amusing and eminently appropriate tumblr post by @bookelfe: http://bookelfe.tumblr.com/post/154645103081/as-an-occasional-visitor-to-star-wars-fandom-here 
> 
> I laughed so hard through the additions to that post - and know so many IT professionals and other data-handling types IRL - that I couldn't *not* write this.

Third Assistant Imperial Archivist Snoke had a very important job, or so the First Imperial Archivist stated regularly in words, if not so much in actions.  His species was particularly suited to such work, as their long-term memories were second to none in terms of accuracy and capacity, and most of them had organizational skills to match.  Computers did all the remembering of actual records, of course, but a knack for finding the correct one quickly… that was something few humans could match.  

It was, however, the Galactic Empire, so Snoke did not have any realistic aspirations to a higher post, as non-humans seldom made it even as high as he already had in the imperial pecking order, but he was content, if often slightly overworked.  (Certainly a better profession than if his parents had, so long ago, followed through with their threat to send him to the Jedi temple if he did not apply himself appropriately in his studies on the homeworld.)  The work was good, the pay was excellent, and the contemporaries were only moderately objectionable.  

Until the day some  _ imbecile _ Grand Moff decided that squashing a few Rebel insects was worth blowing up the Scarif datavault.  

“...What do you mean, ‘gone,’ ma’am?”  

His direct supervisor, the First Assistant Archivist, was giggling hysterically into a cup of strong liquor.   _ Humans. _  So melodramatic.  “Airlocked.  Space dust.”   _ Giggle.  Sniff.   _ “Blown up.  Destroyed.  Gone.”  She drained her cup and immediately poured another.  

Snoke blinked at her, still barely comprehending.  “The Rebel fleet could not possibly - “

“Oh,  _ they _ didn’t.”  She took another deep swig of liquor, which action Snoke observed with detached distaste.  “You’re right, they couldn’t.  Grand Moff Tarkin.  Death Star.  Wiped the Scarif base clean off the map.  Command’s calling it a victory that the prevented the Rebels from getting into the Archive, but I have it from a friend that there was an unscheduled transmission from the vault just before....”  

“He did.  What.”

She didn’t repeat herself, only looked up blearily from her mug and added instead, “We’re to start reassembling the archive from backups immediately.”  

“...Ma’am, that  _ was  _  - “

“Was the backup.”  Another giggle, this time ending in a highly undignified snort.  “I know.  I know!  But since when does a Grand Moff want to hear something like that?” 

Snoke regarded his supervisor for a long moment in silence, deadly still, before abruptly grabbing the bottle of liquor and pouring perhaps half of the remainder into a cup for himself.  

 

* * *

 

Four years later, the mighty Galactic Empire lay in ruins, and the former Third Assistant Archivist found himself not even remotely surprised.  It was similarly unsurprising that there was no surviving record of his name among the archivists - their own personnel files had hardly been anywhere near the top of the priority list for… “restoration” after the Tarkin Incident, after all. 

His name was therefore the one thing he kept of his life as an Assistant Archivist when he left New Republic space to pursue his long-neglected Force education, and the one thing he kept when, years later, he returned.  

“Supreme Leader” was a far better title than “Third Assistant Archivist,” Snoke thought to himself in satisfaction.  The archive of the galaxy was overdue for reorganization, and he was just the Sith for the job.


End file.
